How to Make Your Self-Care Plan

Caregiving for your child with medical, developmental, or mental health special needs or disabilities can take all of your resources. That’s why it’s critical to proactivity care for yourself and regularly invest in you—so you can be the best version of yourself for your child when you are talking to that doctor, at that IEP, and loving your frustrated son or daughter. The subject of Special Needs Moms and Self-Care comes up a lot in the same sentence. There are good reasons for this which I will explain. Today, I’m sharing the 4 Steps to Making Your Self-Care Plan. In coming posts, we will dive into working toward health in each of the five areas of your life.

Learning the Hard Way

My daughter, Bethany Grace, came home from the NICU at 3-months-old on four machines. Within weeks, I began to lose myself in her around-the-clock care. Solid sleep became a distant memory. Cooking healthy meals dropped to low priority. I didn’t exercise, get outside, or even leave the house to simply remember that there was a world outside the four walls of my daughter’s intensive care bedroom. With months packed with ambulance rides, hospital stays, doctors’ appointments, and therapies, my physical and mental health quickly declined. I put off going to my doctors’ appointments in order to take Bethany Grace to hers.

My Decline

I began to gain weight (never really having lost the weight from the pregnancy). I felt sluggish and down. And as physical health and mental health correlate, I began to sink into a severe depression. I had neglected to continue to take care of my most basic needs—eating well, finding a way to get enough sleep, showering, doing things I enjoyed, making plans to talk with other moms, or connecting with my husband.

The Damage

It felt impossible at the time to spare even a small amount of time to invest in myself. I was literally just trying to keep my daughter alive and care for my 3-year-old son’s complex needs, as well. The damage was severe. I became unable to really care for my children or connect with my husband. I lived in a state of hopelessness, riddled with anxiety. I went through life like a Zombie, chronically suicidal.

How I Did It

So how did I go from this awful, dark pit to living in joy and deep fulfillment today? I made a conscious choice to commit to giving everything I had left to working towards reclaiming my health. When it seemed impossible to find respite care, I put energy into making a way. When my marriage was in shambles, I begin to fight to save it. I began going to therapy. I began to make healthy food choices and go to the doctor. I took medications.

Making Self-Care a Priority

Looking back, I believe that I could have found ways when Bethany Grace first came home from the NICU to keep caring for myself. People offered to come sit with her so I could get out of the house, nap, or take a shower. I usually didn’t take them up on their offer, partly due to Bethany Grace’s compromised immune system. I didn’t realize at the time how critical caring for myself really was. I suffered. My family suffered. I wasn’t my best version of me or the strongest advocating mom that I wanted to be.

My Passion for Supporting You

That’s why it’s my passion to reach out to encourage you and support you on your journey to health and wholeness. I want to prevent you from experiencing what I went through. So, what is Self-Care? Self-care is simply attending to your own needs in every area of your life. Your most basic life needs are critical, of course—nutrition, adequate sleep, shelter, water, etc. But love, social connections, physical health, mental health, and spiritual health are also vital to your wellbeing. There are numerous definitions of self-care in the mental health and counseling world. Just think—am I loving myself as much as I’m striving to care for my children? If you’re not healthy, how can you help your children thrive?

What are the 4 steps to creating your self-care plan?

In order to create a holistic plan for how you would like to care for yourself, it’s necessary to attend to each part of your life. We will look in-depth in the coming weeks at how to intentionally invest in your health in these four areas:

Physical Health
Mental & Emotional Health
Spiritual Health
Relationship Health

All of these four health areas are interconnected and impact one another. That’s why it’s critical to address every area with a holistic approach. In my next post, we will look at ways to care for your physical health and the strong connection between physical, mental, and emotional health. You can go ahead and get your full Self-Care Plan here, but make sure to follow along with each post as we fully explore ideas and resources for caring for each of the five areas in your life.

What are some of your self-care goals?

Join the conversation in the comments.

Blessings,

Kristin

Kristin Faith Evans, MA, MS, LMSW

Kristin is an author, a speaker, a mental health therapist, and a special needs mom. Her greatest passion is walking with others on their journey to deeper faith and emotional healing. As a Licensed Masters Social Worker and with her Masters in Christian Education, she has served in youth, camping, and retreat ministries and is experienced in Christian counseling, couples and family therapy, substance abuse treatment, and crisis counseling. Kristin lives with her husband, Todd, and their two children in the Nashville, TN area. When she is not enjoying life with her family, writing or working with clients, you can find Kristin training for triathlons, reading, or simply being out in nature. Visit her author website at www.KristinFaithEvans.com