Special Needs Moms and Mental Health

What percent of other special needs parents do you guess struggle with depression, anxiety, or other mental health symptoms? Is there a correlation between special needs parenting and an increase in mental health disorders? What Helps? Today, I share about the risks for depression, anxiety, and special needs parenting and how to lower your risk.

My Experience with Depression and Anxiety

Curled up on the floor in a corner of my kitchen, I reached for my cell beside me.

“Sandra?”

“Hi, Kristin. Is everything ok?”

“I can’t do it. I’m so overwhelmed.”

“What’s going on?”

“Both kids need a lot of care from me right now. The feeding pump and vitals monitor are beeping. Beth is needing oxygen. I need to clean up lots of vomit. Both kids are crying in pain… I can’t handle this.”

“Take a deep breath, Kristin. Let’s lower your anxiety level.”

My therapist was right. I could not even function because my thoughts and feelings were so imprisoned in anxiety and hopelessness.

Your Experience

Have you ever found yourself wanting to crawl into a corner or actually physically sitting down on the floor overwhelmed? That moment I described is only one day out of hundreds that I found myself paralyzed by anxiety and depression.

If you’re struggling with a down mood, lack of motivation, excessive worry, or hopelessness, you’re not alone. It’s actually more common in parents caring for their children with special needs and disabilities than many people realize.

The Facts

Studies have shown that parents of children with special needs experience stress, anxiety, and depression at significantly-higher levels compared to the national average (Caruso, 2017). The severity of the depressive symptoms are often worse, as well (Sajedi et al., 2010).

These parents often experience “a lot of stress, anxiety, and anger” (Heiman, 2021).

The national average for adults 18 years and older that experience mild to severe symptoms of depression 18.5%. Whereas, 31% of parents of children with intellectual and developmental disabilities experience moderate depression (Centers for Disease Control).

A study conducted by Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia found that 24% of moms caring for their child with Autism were experiencing symptoms of depression and 12% of moms with a child with Down Syndrome screened positive for depression (Jackson, 2018). One study concluded that mothers caring for their child with Cerebral Palsy have over double the risk for developing depression. Traumatic experiences during pregnancy or with your child’s medical condition, as well as grief, can compound depression and anxiety.

But this isn’t to say that all moms caring for their child with disabilities or special needs will experience mental health symptoms. Many never do.

But I want you to know that if you do find yourself in that high percent of mothers that do, you’re not alone, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It makes perfect sense considering all of the stress you’re experiencing.

What Helps Buffer the Risk?

So, we know the statistics. Now what? What helps? I know from experience that the last thing you want to do when you are anxious and depressed is connect with other people. But, reaching out is one of the most important steps you may ever take to improving your quality of life. It does take effort. It takes courage.

Social connection and support have been found as one of the most critical variables in lowering levels of stress, anxiety, and depression (Caruso, 2017). This includes: connecting with other parents in a support group and seeing a counselor.

It can be very challenging to motivate yourself to cultivate these relationships. It takes time and energy. But I assure you, when I began to attend a support group and connect with other moms who really get it, I began to experience lower levels of depression and anxiety. I even began to find hope and joy.

We Are Not Meant to Do This Alone

We are not meant to travel this difficult road on our own. I encourage you to reach out to another mom today either to seek support or to encourage her because she is struggling. Encourage one another. If you do not already attend a support group, find a group in your area.

Churches often host groups.

Seeking Help

If you think you are experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, or another mental health disorder, please reach out to someone. Seek professional help.

If you are in crisis or worried about your safety, call the national suicide prevention lifeline at 800-273-8255 or go to your nearest emergency room.

To find a mental health professional in your area, go to https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

What has been your experience?

Share in the comments to encourage other parents.

Blessings!

Kristin

 *The contents of this article are intended for informational purposes only and not a substitute for seeking professional mental health advice.

Kristin Faith Evans, MA, MS, LMSW

Kristin is an author, a speaker, a mental health therapist, and a special needs mom. Her greatest passion is walking with others on their journey to deeper faith and emotional healing. As a Licensed Masters Social Worker and with her Masters in Christian Education, she has served in youth, camping, and retreat ministries and is experienced in Christian counseling, couples and family therapy, substance abuse treatment, and crisis counseling. Kristin lives with her husband, Todd, and their two children in the Nashville, TN area. When she is not enjoying life with her family, writing or working with clients, you can find Kristin training for triathlons, reading, or simply being out in nature. Visit her author website at www.KristinFaithEvans.com.

References:

Caruso, Jill M. “Stress, Anxiety, and Depression Experienced by Parents of Children with Special Needs and Self-Care Techniques.” ProQuest Dissertations Publishing, 2017.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/depression.htm

Ganesan, Rajesh, and K.G. Dhanesh. “Marital adjustment and depression among parents of children with special needs.” Indian Journal of Community Psychology, vol. 12, no. 1, 2016, p. 34+. Gale Academic OneFile,     link.gale.com/apps/doc/A459075829/AONE?u=tel_a_vanderbilt&sid=bookmark-AONE&xid=a7ef9a75. Accessed 8 June 2021.

Heiman, T. (2021). Parents’ Voice: Parents’ Emotional and Practical Coping with a Child with Special Needs. Psychology, 12, 675-691. https://doi.org/10.4236/psych.2021.125042

Jackson, S. Z. (2018, November 15). Depression in Parents of Children With Developmental Disabilities:What Do We Know and What Can We Do? Retrieved from Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia : https://policylab.chop.edu/blog/depression-parents-children-developmental-disabilities-what-do-we-know-and-what-can-we-do

Jambekar, Aditi et al. “Impact of Having a Child with Special Needs on the Psychosocial Well-Being of the Parents: A Cross-Sectional Study.” Journal of Mental Health and Human Behaviour 23.2 (2018): 115–119. Web.

Sajedi, Firoozeh et al. “Depression in Mothers of Children with Cerebral Palsy and Its Relation to Severity and Type of Cerebral Palsy.” Acta medica Iranica 48.4 (2010): 250–254.   Print.

Kristin is an author, a mental health therapist, and a special needs mom. Her greatest passion is walking with others on their journey to deeper faith and emotional healing. As a Licensed Masters Social Worker and with her Masters in Christian Education, she has served in youth, camping, and retreat ministries and is experienced in Christian counseling, couples and family therapy, substance abuse treatment, and crisis counseling. Kristin lives with her husband, Todd, and their two children in the Nashville, TN area. When she is not enjoying life with her family, writing, or working with clients, you can find Kristin training for triathlons, reading, or simply being out in nature.