5 Reasons Special Needs Dads Rock

Special needs moms are often in the spotlight, and there are a growing number of resources and supports for female caregivers. Dads caring for their children with medical, developmental, physical, or mental health disabilities often have a more difficult time finding support, and they balance a lot. This Father’s Day, let’s celebrate these 5 reasons special needs dads rock and give dads lots of helpful resources.

Disclaimer: I am in no way meaning to stereotype parenting or gender roles. I simply want to recognize all the ways special needs dads rock.

1. Dads have fewer resources

As I’ve been making an intentional effort to create new blog posts and gifts that are relevant for male caregivers as well as moms, I’ve observed the disparity in resources available for specifically dads.

There are much fewer blogs, articles, books, podcasts, social media groups, and organizations for dads.

Here are some resources that I’ve found for Dads:

Podcasts:

1. Dad to Dad Podcast
2. John Felageller interviews
3. Full Spectrum Parent Podcast
4. The Aching Joy Podcast
5. The Autism Dad Podcast
6. Hope Anew Podcast

Books:

1. Common Man, Extraordinary Call: Thriving as the Dad of a Child with Special Needs by Jeff and Becky Davidson
2. The Life We Never Expected: Hopeful Reflections on the Challenges of Parenting Children with Special Needs by Andrew and Rachel Wilson
3. Special Children, Blessed Fathers: Encouragement for fathers of children with special needs by Randy Hain
4. Different Dads: Father’s Stories of Parenting Disabled Children a collection of stories by fathers by Jill Harrison
5. Dads of Disability: Stories for, by, and about fathers of children who experience disability (and the women who love them) by Gary M Dietz
6. Autism from a Father’s Point of View by Stuart Duncan

Organizations:

1. Dads 4 Special Kids
2. Special Dads.org
3. The Special Fathers Network
4. Special Needs Dads Chronicles

Blogs:

1. The Additional Needs Blog Father by Mark Arnold
2. Key Ministry Special Needs Parenting
3. Jason Hague
4. Autism From a Father’s Point of View by Stuart Duncan
5. 15 Best Autism Dad Blogs and Websites

2. Dads often go unrecognized

When co-parenting, it’s often moms that are seen in the community while dads are busy working behind the scenes on other areas of providing for families.

Fathers may have less opportunities to spend quality time with their children outside the home.

Doctors, therapists, and the school may not interact with dads as often as moms. Sometimes people assume that fathers are not as involved in their children’s care or have become emotionally detached. Though this may be true in some cases, it seems dads often go underappreciated.

3. Dads do a lot

Special needs dads balance numerous roles (especially single fathers).

Here are many of the responsibilities that fathers work diligently to juggle:

1. Working and providing financially for the family and their children’s additional medical and developmental care needs
2. Home maintenance and repairs
3. Automobile upkeep
4. Medical Caregiving
5. Taking their children to doctors’ and therapy appointments
6. Staying with their child in the hospital
7. Coordinating and advocating with doctors, therapists, insurance, supply companies, and school
8. Paperwork!
9. Managing their children’s challenging behaviors
10. Implementing therapy interventions and supports in the home
11. Encouraging other special needs dads
12. Grocery and supply shopping
13. Cooking and cleaning
14. Going on lack of sleep and time for self-care
15. Planning financially for the future
16. And much, much more

Speaking of! Get my Free Day Organizer for Special Needs Parents!

Over the last fifteen years, my husband, Todd, and I have learned to work as a team and delegate roles. But there are times when he helps me with most or all of these responsibilities. I don’t know how he does it all. Blessings to you single fathers!

4. Dads can be very resourceful

When Beth was coming home from the NICU, we couldn’t get insurance to provide the appropriate medical crib that she required for her airway and acid reflux. So Todd built one with all the specifications that would keep Beth stable–elevated at the appropriate angle, a feeding tube pole, clear sides so we could watch her, drawers for her supplies, and electrical outlets for all her machines. He even added large wheels so we could roll it into another room. This is a major example, but when dads have to provide for their children, they can become very resourceful!

These are some ways dads become creative and find ways to provide when it seems impossible:

1. Financial: Finding ways to save money, earn extra money, and make it possible to do fun family activities

2. Construction: Designing adaptive supports, home renovations, creating sensory play activities, and building therapy equipment

3. Creativity: Thinking outside the box to find ways to secure respite support

4. Romantic Gestures: Planning time away with their significant other in financially feasible ways and arranging childcare

5. Dads can feel lonely with fewer social and emotional supports

It’s likely that as a special needs dad, having the time to connect with other dads is even more challenging. Combine that with fewer support programs for dads, fathers can feel even more isolated. Though fewer, opportunities to connect with other dads to find encouragement are out there.

It might take extra energy and effort to find ways to connect, but community and emotional support are critical.

These are wonderful supports for dads:

1. Key Ministry Online Communities
2. The Dad’s Fire Circle holds online gatherings and helpful discussions about different topics.
3. Rising Above Ministries has a dads’ online small group community Bible studies and retreats.
4. Local churches often offer support groups for special needs parents and sometimes specifically groups and Bible studies for dads

Even if there’s not a support group specifically for special needs dads that works, even participating in any support group or a men’s Bible study can provide much-needed encouragement and resources. Learn more ways support groups help special needs parents.

What reason or resource would you like to add to the list?

Please share your idea below in the comments.

Blessings,

Kristin

Kristin Faith Evans, MA, MS, LMSW

Kristin is an author, a speaker, a mental health therapist, and a special needs mom. Her greatest passion is walking with others on their journey to deeper faith and mental health wholeness. As a Licensed Masters Social Worker and with her Masters in Christian Spiritual Formation, she has served in youth, camping, and retreat ministries and is experienced in Christian counseling, couples and family therapy, substance abuse treatment, and crisis counseling. Kristin lives with her husband, Todd, and their two children in the Nashville, TN area. When she is not enjoying life with her family, writing or working with clients, you can find Kristin training for triathlons, reading, or simply being out in nature. Visit her author website at www.KristinFaithEvans.com